Maternity Photo Phobia

Today not only marks the ten week countdown for baby Carlson but also marks another major milestone; I officially got over my fear of maternity photos today! Now before I get into the details of our amazing shoot, a la my good friend Jenny, I want to explain where my trepidation for maternity photos comes from. Don't get me wrong, pregnancy is a beautiful thing but sometimes experiencing all of those bodily changes feels a little less-than-glamorous (see photo from last blog entry as evidence). It's easy for someone to search the Pinterest world for photos that will tug at the heartstrings, but crossing over in front of the camera lens was less enticing for me. When I thought pregnancy photos, my mind went to the tabloid covers you see in the grocery checkout with pictures of pregnant celebrities. These women not only have acclaimed stylists, photographers, and air-brushers at the ready, they also are completely and utterly shameless. Take exhibit A: 

Nothing say "real" like a pregnant woman in a bikini...practical.

And when you're too big to fit into a bikini, your man can cover you. Thanks, Mariah for the tip...

 Now celebs are not the only culprits. I've seen dozens of women attempting to embrace the au natural beauty of pregnancy but again, they seem a bit misguided - exhibit B  

This is what I call materni-tree.

"I'm on a horse."

As usual, I consulted Alex about my prenatal photo phobia and his response, to no surprise, was that we should just be ourselves and take goofy pictures. Then no one can laugh at us for taking them too seriously. However, there is always a fine line when taking funny photos; some people may be insulted that we're not taking such a huge/beautiful event seriously, or worse, some people may not realize that the pictures are, in fact, a joke. Again, my mind raced - exhibit C: 

Flower child? Or mutant mother?

Cute?

So, after a little coaxing, my good friend Jenny offered to take our photos and had she not been a close friend, I would have very well said no. I was pretty open with her that the idea sort of freaked me out and I wanted the pictures to be as casual as possible. She made us both feel very comfortable and she even included our dog, Beckett, in several of the poses! We took indoor and outdoor photos and dabbled in a variety of silly, casual, and serious poses. Taking these pictures was therapeutic for me because I was able to get over my odd fear, but it was also an awesome time for Alex and I to devote some quality time to our family. Nothing really makes his (baby Carlson's) presence more real than spending a good portion of the afternoon striking poses to show him off. I couldn't help but allow my mind to wander to the many photo shoots of his future and imagine posing for Christmas card pictures with our growing family of the future. So, whether these pictures are put in an album that I only feel comfortable sharing with close friends and family, or they are plastered all over the walls of my home, this photo shoot was a poignant reminder of the importance of family and the miracle of it all.

Obviously, I don't have pictures to share from today's session (since it was just this afternoon) but Jenny did send my one picture as a sneak peek. I would be lying if I said this picture didn't make me excited to see the rest of them, so here it is, exhibit D:

That's my boy! :-)

The Oh-So-Glamorous Side of Pregnancy

Eleven weeks left. Oh. My. GOODNESS! As we’re nearing the end of this stage, I thought it might be a good idea to document some of my pregnancy symptoms, cravings, and odd experiences so I have something to look back on and laugh at later. Now, as much as these experiences might really paint me to be a sultry and desirable woman, remember, I am only human :-)

The first, and most noticeable, symptom is, of course, my size. By now, my belly has taken on a life of its own and has definitely gotten in the way of some basic daily tasks. Take putting on shoes for example. Seemingly simple, eh? Well, nowadays buckling my sandals in the morning requires many steps: feet in the air, back braced, wiggling and wriggling, Alex calmly trying to coax my swollen feel in, and possibly a complaint or two, or three, or four. Now as much as this might seem like a great way to bond, Alex has so coyly given me the nickname of “right-now,” meaning that despite his patience in helping me, I want to get things done and I want to get them done NOW! Don’t even get me started on painting my toenails - what I wouldn’t do for a professional pedicure these days! Although baby is probably glad that I’m avoiding those noxious salon fumes for him.

As far as swelling is concerned, my right foot has been sporting the swollen kankle look but my left foot is not into it. I’m not sure what’s worse; having both feet swell or having shoes that fit unevenly…

Cravings. Alex has always teased me because when I’m not pregnant I seem to have oddly specific cravings but now that I am pregnant, my palate has normalized. There are a few food items that have been especially appealing though and I’d like to think that these manly cravings reflect the manly needs of my manly fetus. On any given day, I have been lovin’ me some eggs, red meat, milk, orange juice, and fresh fruit. My sweet tooth hasn’t really reared its ugly head, which I don’t mind at all. The only annoying part about my protein cravings is that not a day goes by without a salami and/or beef stick craving, both of which I cannot eat due to the preservatives. Lunchmeat too; I miss lunchmeat. I’ve already planned out what I’m going to eat/drink once I’m done nursing:

Jimmy John’s Turkey Tom sub with a side of beef sticks and a nice glass of white wine. It may not be the best culinary combination but gosh darn it, it sounds delicious to me! 

The last prego prob/symptom that I’ve been bombarded with is a need to sleep. Between finding a confortable position, staying the right temperature, and abating odd post-partum nightmares, sleep has been a precious commodity. Thankfully, our Sleep Number bed has been a complete Godsend but my sleepy demeanor has not confined itself to the bedroom. The floor, the couch, a chair; I just don’t discriminate! And for your viewing/blackmailing pleasure, here is a wonderful snapshot depicting me in action…or lack thereof. 

"I'm sexy and I know it."

Thanks, Alex for loving me and being so good to me when I look, feel, and sound like a bloated monster. I love you!

What a Difference a Year Makes...

Summer break is officially in full swing as proven by the presence of naps and by the absence of grading pens. It is in the summer that I have time to do things like read for leisure, dabble with new recipes, get a little crafty, and get this: think! Now I have been known to over-think things a time or two, but this morning, my mind was really in a state of reflection. What spurred this reflection, believe it or not, was the routine blood work I just did this morning. For those of you who are or have been pregnant, you'll definitely know what I'm talking about when I reference the glucose drink. For those of you who haven't, I'll do my best to explain. The glucose test is designed to test a woman's blood sugar levels and ability to process sugars in the bloodstream. The ultimate goal is decided whether the woman is at risk for gestational diabetes as this can cause complications for the pregnancy. In order to check these levels, the woman is to drink a glucose drink (basically sugary flat pop) and then have blood drawn one hour later to see how the body responds to the excess sugar. Now you're probably thinking, "Okay, so what does this have to do with reflection? Get to the point!"


Well, nearly a year ago, I took this glucose test. Not because we were eagerly expecting, as we are now, but because we were currently unable to conceive. At that time, our fertility doctor had concluded that I had not ovulated on my own during the time he had worked with us and there was potential to believe that I had never ovulated in my life. Our doctor told I us that there could have been two causes to this issue: Diabetes or another condition called PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). The glucose test would need to be taken to decide whether or not I was diabetic so we could move on with the diagnosis. It just so happened that on that particular day and at that particular time, there were upwards of five or six pregnant women going through the same test. So there I was, crammed in a tiny waiting area with a whole boat-load of pregnant women and me so desperately wanting what they had. Even their swapped stories about extended back pain ans swollen feet didn't phase me; I just wanted a baby. Quickly, that initial admiration and curiosity about these women turned into frustration and even anger. As they were sharing names they were considering or nursery decor ideas, I found myself judging these women. What's so special about her? That's her idea of an original name? I can't even have one child and this broad is having twins?! And as my blood continued to boil (both literally and figuratively - my blood sugars were tweaking out at this point), and I found myself releasing a few expletives in my head, I felt a single tear run down my face and knew that was the point of no return. I quickly ran to the nearest restroom to mop up the flood of tears that had erupted, vigorously wiping away at my face with those scratchy health office paper towels. I looked in the mirror and visibly saw how upset I was and knew that it all stemmed from fear. I didn't really hate those women. They had done nothing to deserve my internal monologue of mockery; it was my fear of never bearing my own children, of letting Alex down, of being so-called less of a woman that was burning inside of me. Flash forward. There I was again, this morning, sitting in the lab waiting room - 28 weeks pregnant and with no diabetes in sight. I was joined by a few other pregnant women and some that were not. Now, who's to say what those women were in the lab for, but I couldn't help but wonder and be eternally thankful for where I am today. Thank you, God for this incredible blessing and for seeing us through this trying journey. People have told me that having a baby will change everything, even how I view the world and those around me. Baby Carlson isn't even here yet and I can already conclude that this notion is true. What a difference a year makes :-)

Ending Third Trimester, Beginning Third Trimester

However coincidental, this week marked the end of third trimester at school as well as the beginning of third trimester for baby Carlson. With the excitement of both transition periods comes a bit of apprehension as well. One might think that the start of summer break would bring a wave of relief, especially since my maternity leave will see that I don't have to grade another thing for the next five months. For some reason I still feel entirely stressed. We have not hired my long-term sub, my room is not organized, and my lessons aren't sub-ready. Although I have all summer to prepare for this, the thought of not being a part of that wonderful back-to-school energy in the fall really saddens me. On the other hand, distance does make the heart grow fonder, so my extended absence could give me an awesome supply of energy and enthusiasm to come back with.

Now this nervousness I'm expressing about work is not intended to overshadow my excitment about meeting our little one; believe me, we're completely stoked! But as mentioned above, with his birth date quickly approaching, I can't help but feel a little unprepared. I do have around twelve weeks to physically and emotionally prepare myself but I'm sure all the planning in the world cannot fully prepare anyone for motherhood. So, in order to both view my summer realistically and ease my nerves, I've decided to create a Summer Mommy To-do List. I would like to enlist the help of all my mommy friends out there with my list. I'm creating this list based solely on what I have read so if you can think of any other items, or if you have advice, please feel free to share. For example, prenatal courses. Our birthing center offers courses in the birthing process, infant care, and breastfeeding. Would all be beneficial? What have been your experiences? We're willing to try them out but they can be a bit spendy and time consuming so we'd only like to invest if they're worthwhile.

Here, in no particular order, is my Summer Mommy To-do List:

• Register/take prenatal course(s) - which one(s) to take? birthing? breast feeding? infant care? or all of the above?
• look around for a good pediatrician
• finish home-improvement projects (or rather supervise while Alex does)
• schedule our baby dedication and design invites
• find an affordable daycare option
• prepare for cloth diapering
• line up on-call doggie care for Beckett  for when we're in the hospital
• make food for after baby's born
• clean house and keep it clean
• install car seat
• pack mommy and daddy overnight bags
• work on birth announcement
• pre-wash baby clothes and bedding
• set up nursery
• read up more about breast feeding, parenting, etc.
• design/assemble baby quilt
• maternity photoshoot
• stock up on basics for the home
• try and RELAX :-)

As much as these items are seemingly in my control, I know there will be a lot in these next tweve weeks that isn't. Please keep our little family in your thoughts and prayers and again, don't hesitate if you have any ideas or advice to share. After all, it does take a village to raise a child :-)

Boy Bedding Bothers

One of the most exciting and yet daunting tasks of preparing for little one: preparing the nursery. Alex and I elected to move our bedroom downstairs to be right across the hall from baby. Although this was a significant downsizing, we've really gotten used to the limited space and being near the bathroom has been a huge plus (those late night trips to the loo have definitely increased!). We emptied out the office across the hall in order to transform it into babyland. We had previously discussed using blues and greens for the nursery but we wanted to pick out the bedding first before we decided on a theme. Our ultimate goal was to find something that was classic and would not be easily outgrown. The selection was limited to say the least. Why do baby bedding designers focus all their efforts on little girl decor? I could have left there with four different girl bedding sets and been perfectly happy but the boy bedding gods were out to get us that day. Here were our options: monkeys playing electric guitars, monkeys parachuting out of planes, monkeys riding giraffes footballs, baseballs, Simba from the Lion King, and dump trucks. First of all, what is with this monkey obsession? Is there some global scheme to make babies love monkeys? Secondly, none of these options seemed to fit what we were looking for. Just when we thought we were going to have to compromise with monkey option A, B, or C, we turned the corner and found an adorable nautical themed set. The best news: it was green and blue!

Store Display - not in our house...yet

 Needless to say, we had found our nursery theme! The next thing to do was to pick out the paint colors and to start painting. This process was really hard for me because I wanted to be a part of the painting, but I could not be around the house for all the painting/sanding as the fumes are bad for baby. Alex and I took the comforter to the store to pick out the paint colors and that is where my share of the project ended.

Color Swatches - picture is not true to color

Over Memorial Day weekend, I took my huge stack of grading and my mom up to the cabin to escape. Alex and his wonderful family came over to work on the house and they were able to accomplish a ton amongst them. Despite their progress, Alex was quite frustrated with the painters tape they used because it ended up ripping off some of the paint and even some of the plaster. After he and his dad re-puttied, re-primed and re-painted, the room was really coming together! We still have a lot to do in regard to furniture and decor but the painting is looking pretty awesome. Thank you to my wonderful hubby and his family for all of their hard work! I cannot wait to finish the room and I'm even more excited to bring baby home to it!

Diaper Dilemma

Another adventure Alex and I have braved on our way to becoming parents is the diaper discussion. To dispose or not to dispose? That is the question. According to a 2005 survey conducted by ABC News, 95% of parents use disposable diapers and with the convenience and easy clean up, it is easy to understand why. However, a handful of my recent momma friends have chosen cloth, so I was interested in doing some research of my own. The best two arguments for cloth diapers are the economical and environmental impact.

The initial investment for cloth diapers, depending on style, brand and amount, runs around $250. Add in the cost of laundry detergent, accessories, etc. and you're looking at another $200 or so. That's $450 start up and then another $100 a year for water and electricity costs ($.15/kWh and $22/1000 gallons - mint.com). As much as that might seem spendy, it pales in comparison to the $800-$1000 spent annually (mint.com) on disposables. As the child enters his second year, that saving jumps to 60% because the initial cloth investment has already been taken care of. Depending on the condition of the diapers, parents can even reuse the cloth diapers for future children or sell them to other future parents.

The environmental impact of cloth diapers is less concrete. Some studies argue that there is little to no difference between both diaper types, however, the truth really lies in diaper care. Washing at home can cut down the fuel usage and air pollution created by professional diaper services. Using cold and/or warm water can cut energy costs and line drying as opposed to using a dryer, can eliminate that energy usage completely. Admittedly, both diaper types have some environmental impact, however, to know that our baby will be responsible for 70% less solid waste in landfills (U of M study) and that our impact on non-renewable petroleum supplies and methane gas in the environment will be significantly lower is a good feeling. 

However, there are also the health and developmental factors. That same ABC News study mentioned above concluded that boys who wear disposable diapers maintain a higher scrotal temperature which may pose some fertility issues in the future. Asthma, nasal congestion, allergies, and common colds are more prevalent in users of disposables as well. Lastly, the study concluded that children who use cloth diapers are quicker to embrace potty training than children who use disposables.

So, after tapping into some solid research and asking around, we've ordered our own set of cloth diapers! We decided to go with the pocket style diaper it is the most user-friendly and is quite customizable.

We ordered from Sunbaby Diapers; the snaps allow for the diaper to fit babies from 7-35 lbs (see above picture).

The pocket itself can be filled with 1-2 microfiber inserts to keep the moisture away from baby and to make clean up easier.

Also, the diapers come in really fun colors and prints that are just too cute! We ordered several different patterns but the two above are my personal favorites (blue argyle and cream zoo animals). As of now, we've only spent $144 on our diapers and we are eager to see how they work out for our little guy. The package just shipped yesterday and although I don't have a baby bottom to try them out on, I can't wait to get my hands on them! Stay posted for more updates.

Gender Reveal

For those of you have not yet heard this weird and wonderful story, here goes. With the suggestion from a coworker, Alex and I decided to have a gender reveal party for our close family and friends. We couldn't possbily wait until baby was born to find out the gender and so we thought having the surprise shared in such a manner would still give some excitement to the news but allow us ample planning time. Also, we were just so sick of calling our baby "it." My wonderful in-laws so graciously planned and hosted the party at their house and our only real duty was to order the cake. Contrary to what some might think, Alex and I were just as ignorant to the news as everyone else although we were pretty confidant that we were having a boy. Only our bakery knew the gender of our baby. Well, the Pioneer Press was looking to do a story on these parties as a new trend and they just so happened to call our bakery. The next thing we knew, a news crew was at our party. The following article was the result:

http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_20498939/cottage-grove-learn-your-babys-gender-through-cake

FYI: The quote about my "troubled students" was a misquote. I was referencing how challenging it is to come up with unique names when I encounter so many on a daily basis. And Alex's dad is named K.C. not Don. Silly, newspaper man :)

Sparknotes Version of the Carlson Pregnancy Thus Far

With the inspiration of a dear friend of mine and the desire to document this miraculous process, I've decided to start my very own blog. Who knows if this is just a therapeutic exercise to calm my own nerves or if this blog will gather a following. Either way, I am happy to share my knowledge/experience, and lack thereof, with my friends and family in cyberwold. If nothing else, this blog will be a poignant reminder for myself, my husband, and my son of what actually did transpire during these whirlwind forty weeks and quite possibly, the many weeks/months/years following. So, here goes:

Where do I begin? With hopes of not being too long-winded, I will attempt to give a Sparknotes version of our pregnancy up until this point.

Alex and I have been married for almost four years now and we've always said that we were on the "three-year plan: house/dog, trip, baby." Seeing that the first two were accomplished, we were eager to start our new little family. Unfortunately, we did not have the easiest of times conceiving and after much testing, we were referred to a fertility specialist. Needless to say, this was a very stressful and trying time for both Alex and I. Likewise, we loved the element of surprise entailed in revealing the "good news" to our friends and family and so we embarked on this medical journey seemingly alone. The medical staff that we worked with was top-notch and with only two cycles of fertility drugs, baby Carlson was a-go! Alex and I took our umpteenth pregnancy test on Christmas Eve and God not only blessed us that Christmas with the gift of His son, but also blessed us with the gift of our OWN!

Despite our fear of possible complications, we decided to tell our immediate families by gifting them a Christmas-themed onesie that read "My First Christmas" (sized for a 3 month old, as that's how old he'll be next Christmas). Both sides of our family were ecstatic to stay the least and it seemed that keeping this precious secret was going to be a real challenge. Not only that, but due to the fertility treatments, we were bracing ourselves for a real push into parenting: multiple births. Our doctor told us that our chances of having twins or even triplets was twice that of a normal couple. After several appointments, one heartbeat heard, and our first ultrasound, we decided to share our exciting news with the world and what better way to release such private information? Facebook. Although I dislike the lack of intimacy that our reveal on Facebook provided, it was an easy way to get the word out. It was also sooo exciting to see how many people were supporting and cheering on our little one before even being born. 

Fast forward. After being released as a fertility patient (around 16 weeks or so), we had to decide what sort of birthing plan would be ideal for us. Through my own research and through my discussion with other recent mommas, I was hoping for a natural water birth. Alex was not 100% thrilled with the idea at first but was open to learning more about the process and supporting me and my needs. As someone who has lived with chronic joint pain, stiffness, and inflammation for my entire life, water has always been my go-to drug of choice. The pain of my RA, although very different from labor, I'm sure, has been quite painful over the years and very few drugs have been able to curb my aches and pains; hot baths have truly been my only solace. Also, I have tried very hard throughout my pregnancy to do everything I possibly can to follow the natural route, so using drugs and medical intervention at the end of the process seemed counter-intuitive. The hospital nearest us has a birthing center that houses a stellar midwife staff and also allows for water births. This option seemed ideal for us as the hospital setting provided the natural labor I was seeking but with the convenience of having medical intervention nearby if need be. Alex, my mom, and I visited the birthing center and met the midwife staff about a month or so back and we were all very pleased with the result. The facility is quite new and does not feel like the sterile hospital environment that I had envisioned. The individual rooms are quite large giving space for a momma in labor to move. Alex seemed most excited about the free WiFi and continues to joke about how he plans to Tweet/Live Stream the birth. Ummm...that's not happening. I was, however, excited to know that they have speakers throughout the room to play your choice of music throughout labor. Alex and are currently compiling a list of our favorite showtunes so our boy can be born to Broadway's best. We are open to suggestions if anyone has any :)

This may be a good place to stop in this entry before I get too wordy. With one full trimester left to go, I'm sure I'll have plenty of thoughts to document between now and then.