Parenting Homework

34 weeks...only six weeks left! Ahhhh! As much as that might seem like a good chunk of time, my recurring nightmares keep hinting that Baby Carlson is planning to make his premiere early. Beside the fact that we don't have a crib yet (in the above mentioned nightmares, he sleeps in a cardboard box), so much is really coming together. We have stocked up on many of the essentials, we have started planning/packing our hospital bags, and we have completed/are currently completing a bit of parenting instruction.

After doing some poking around, Alex and I decided to work our way through a parenting book to help give us confidence and know-how once Baby arrives. We landed upon The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp and I'm currently over half way through it. 

The text itself is a pretty quick read and Karp attempts to spice up the material with personal anecdotes and various excerpts from other well-known works (both literary and medical). However, at its core, the book is really a how-to manual for parents of young children. Karp has uncovered something that he coined the "calming reflex" and debunks myths about colic and various soothing techniques. It's hard to tell if his suggestions are legitimate as we don't have a crying infant to try his tactics out on, but his logic appears sound and the book is well-supported by parents and pediatricians alike. One of the more interesting bits of his studies surrounds the presence of colic in the Western World, whereas many other cultures don't experience colic or extended periods of crying at all. Long story short, Karp claims that the long-believed theory of gastrointestinal problems cannot be the sole culprit and he claims that his soothing technique will calm any crying child. Without having finished the book, I would still reccommend it to expecting first-time parents but also to seasoned parents, as it pokes a few holes in some well-known parenting practices.

Another parenting venture we have embarked on are our parenting and labor classes. We've only had one session of our parenting class (the second session is tomorrow) but so far we've learned a good deal and I look forward to the next session. One of the major bits of knowledge we took home was about crib bumpers. We picked ours out at Babies R US based on the display and didn't think much about it after that. Much to our surprise, our infant instructor informed us that crib bumpers are major culprits when it comes to SIDS and that they should no longer be used by anyone. The same logic applies to all blankets, stuffed animals and any other plush items within a crib. Even the mesh models pose a risk. As a matter of fact, the sale of crib bumpers has been banned in many major cities. This was news to us, and seeing that every crib display in the store had one, we were pretty shocked. After further questioning, our instructor explained that as much as crib bumpers may prevent potential bumping and bruising caused by kicking the wooden rails, the risk of infant suffocation is much higher and possibly fatal. Needless to say, we returned ours ASAP. As much as it was pretty darling, we care more about our little darling than the aesthetics of our nursery. So, for you current/future parents out there: bumpers beware! 

On a lighter note, we also learned about the six states of infant consciousness, what they look like, what purpose they serve, and what parents should do while their child is in each state.  Here are our notes on each state:

Our instructor ended our last session with a bit of parenting homework. We were tasked with compiling a list of six traits that make a "good enough" parent. She didn't elaborate much on what "good enough" really means but we read into it as sufficient, okay, not bad. Here, in no particular order, is our list:


Six Essentials to Being a "Good Enough" Parent
1) safety
2) food
3) clothing
4) shelter
5) attention
6) love? (the question mark was my doing as I see love as a "great" characteristic, but Alex phrased it well when he said, "If a parent doesn't love their kid, then they're a bad parent." - good enough, I guess)

Call us over-achievers, but we weren't satisfied with simply being "good enough," so we decided to take our homework one step further. What are six essentials to being a GREAT parent? This is what we came up with (again, in no particular order):


Six Essentials to Being a GREAT Parent
1) patience
2) playfulness
3) enthusiasm/energy
4) willingness to teach/learn
5) open-mindedness
6) teamwork

Regardless of the books we read, the classes we take, and even the advice of others, nothing can truly prepare us for what this wonderful world of parenting will entail. I guess this quote really says it best:

The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher.  
~Robert Brault

Teach on, Baby C, teach on.

A Portrait of Our Son...So Far

32 weeks - final ultrasound. For this last snapshot moment, Alex and I invited my mom to join us. She had never seen an ultrasound, as they weren't common practice when she had children. We were hoping to get a better glimpse of Baby Carlson, but he was pretty sleepy and had situated himself directly behind the placenta so seeing his face was nearly impossible. Here is the one picture we were able to get, although it is by no means clear.

The technician went through a series of examinations including a monitor of growth, movement, and practice breathing. He was not super active, which worried me, but after drinking a glass of orange juice he started wiggling around a bit. We also payed close attention to the movements of his diaphragm as this is the period in which baby begins to exercise that muscle for future air breathing. The movements weren't regular, but he did sustain thirty seconds of practice breathing which was the goal. Lastly, the technician measured his head, waist, legs, and arms to determine an estimated weight. From all of my reading and research, baby should be between three and four pounds at this phase and stage. Guess how big Baby Carlson was? 5lbs 4oz!!! Now as much as this is an estimate, the fact that he has eight more weeks to cook somewhat freaks me out as babies gain about a half a pound a week at this point.  Math isn't my forte, but I'm pretty sure that adds up to a 9-10lb baby - yikes! No wonder he wasn't moving around so much - he's running out of room!

My midwife later measured my uterus and said that it was right on track for average growth so the estimate could've been off. She also assured me that children grown in spurts so we could've just caught him right after a growth spurt and his growth could plateau. Either way, it did make me second guess my birth plan. As much as a drug-free water birth is ideal, I'm not sure that it will be entirely possible if our baby is pushing 10lbs. For now, we hope to keep our birth plan the same but will remain flexible to what our big baby needs :-)

When I was born, I only weighed 7lbs 6oz - Alex, and the rest of his siblings for that fact, weighed upwards of 9lbs (9lbs 6oz to be exact)! Like father, like son, I guess. Here are some photos our parents dug up of us as babies:

Alex - jolly, ginger, and double-chinned

Katie - eager, buggy-eyed, and Mohawk-headed

 Between the vague ultrasound photo and this birth-weight conundrum, I can't help but wonder what Baby Carlson will really look like. So, what would any sane person do with such curiosity? Seek out a baby photo generator online! I made two attempts at the baby generator, one with our baby photos and one with more recent photos. Neither one yielded a particularly adorable child:

 

The good news is that the bottom photo at least predicted that Baby Carlson will be a ginger.  Of course, this modern technology is highly advanced so relying on its accuracy makes total sense...not. In the meantime, I'll just allow my imagination to run wild and my odd dreams to get even odder (more on that in future posts). Whatever he looks like and however chubby he may be, I hope that he is a healthy, happy boy and I know that his momma and papa already love him more than he could ever know!