Highlights from 2013

'Sup, blog? Been awhile, huh? Well, in the spirit of all the nostalgia that the New Year brings, I thought it fitting to jot down a few major milestones in the Carlson household. Now keep in mind that major is a relative term: these instances may not mean much to others but these are the moments I want to look back and remember. So, in no particular order, here are my top 10 memories from 2013:

1) Alex got a new job. Twice. Duh, we know he's hirable but this job shift was different. After working at two different places within months of each other, he decided to take a leap of faith and jumped ship once more. Now don't get me wrong, Alex is the kind of person who can get along with anyone he meets and somehow manages to excel wherever he is but his former employers really missed the mark with him. Meaning. That's what he's been searching for in his place of work and thank God he's found it! At his current job, he feels valued, he's never bored, and he truly believes in the work that he's doing. They said that a happy wife makes a happy life but I think this saying works with husbands too.

2) Oscar hit the 13-month marker and is doing okay. Like I said above, some of these milestones don't make sense to other people but for me, 13-months was the age I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis which meant, in my mind, that's when it would hit Oscar too. Ever since I was a young girl, I feared that my children would have this chronic disease but as of now, Oscar seems like the pinnacle of good health. Who knows what will happen in the future but in this moment, I am thankful for the health of my family.

3) I became an auntie! Although she had a somewhat scary entry into the world, Ruby and my brave sister Jenny are both doing well. I can't wait for her to become more mobile - she and Oscar are bound to get into some shenanigans.

4) Oscar has started talking! He has been gradually adding to his vocabulary but right now his repertoire includes Mama, Mama (which also means food/I want something - go figure) Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa (which sometimes becomes Bumpa), Bumpa (which also means truck?), yum-yum, yup, no/nah, doggie, puppy, hi, bye/buh-bye, uh-oh, and I swear he said "I love you" to me once *gush* It's really amazing to see him process the world around him and there are times where he's acting so independently, I forget that he's still my baby! Good thing we've got another one on the way because this big boy is growing up too quickly!

5) Alex's siblings moved away - Yes, that's right Uncle Mack and Auntie Madee are spread out across the nation (in Florida and California respectively). I'm so very proud of them both for taking risks and following their dreams - God only knows that I couldn't do it, especially on my own! I hope they find jobs they love and meet good friends to surround them. In the meantime, we miss them mucho!

6) I'm took a break from theatre. As a family we decided that a hiatus from directing at the high school was a good idea considering our already busy schedules and our growing family. Directing last year really took a toll on me; I would get home so late that I'd only get to see Oscar for about a half hour and it ended up being his before bed/tired/crabby time. On top of that, I had very little time to accomplish school work and our marriage ended up on the back-burner. Instead, I took on the role of co-head coach on the speech team which allows me to rehearse one day a week as opposed to the usual five. Alex and I also get to spend more time together which is another plus. The decision was a tough one but I'm very happy with the result.

7) Oscar is getting soooo smart! I'm sure that every parent says that but even our daycare lady can't help but comment on his growing intelligence. He's very quick at figuring out how things work and has even begun problem solving. For example, our daycare lady has a secret stash for toys that none of the other kids know about. Apparently, Oscar figured out the secret spot right away and ended up putting toys together to reach in and get out the toys he wanted. He's making tools?! Blows my mind.

8) Our speech team reached a staggering 74 members this year and that was after cutting several students from the team. We're overwhelmed with the amazing student interest and we hope to make this the best speech season yet! Last year we sent one kid to state - this year, who knows? :-)

9) I renewed my teaching license which means I've officially been teaching for five years. Not sure if this means I'm no longer a novice or what; I think I'll feel like the new kid on the block for the next 15 years but experience certainly helps. It definitely felt somewhat official to go through the paperwork - like, do I really want to sign on for another five years of this craziness? As one of my colleagues puts it, I'm a "lifer" meaning teaching was, is, and will continue to be my dream job. No matter how draining it can get, I love being in the classroom and I love working with young people.

10) We will soon be a family of five (dog included)! It's crazy to think that in the coming months there will be two little boys under our roof. I'm still getting used to saying "my boys" or "my sons." Blessings this big are hard to wrap your mind around but I look forward to getting to know this new little one and I'm even more excited for these cute brothers to become acquainted. They say the best gift you can give a child is a sibling - here's hoping they're right! In preparation for this new phase and stage of our lives, we're working on transitioning Oscar to his big boy room (pictures/details to come) and starting tomorrow, he will be pacifier free - that's his New Year's resolution. He currently only uses it to fall asleep but we can only have one baby in the house at a time so he's going to start the transition to big-boydom ASAP. Wish us luck!

A Growing Family

Alright, blog. My life isn't getting any less hectic, my health has been cruddy lately, and I should probably be packing for our weekend homecoming excursion but what am I doing instead? Giving you a little TLC. A lot has been on my mind lately so sorting out something cohesive to blog about is a challenge. Considering the major focus of my blog thus far, I thought going back to baby talk was a good idea.

I am currently 12ish weeks pregnant (April 9th due date) with baby number two. Between bouts of complete exhaustion I am thoroughly ecstatic. Our family, friends, and my students have been so encouraging - for goodness sakes, I got a full round of applause (and a few standing ovations) from each of my classes when I spilled the beans. It hasn't been that long ago since I was pregnant with Oscar and yet I forgot how genuinely nice people are to pregnant ladies. We've had a lot of people asking us questions - some normal like, "when are you due?" and "is Oscar excited to be a big brother?" and then a few odd ones like, "weren't you just pregnant?" and "was this one planned?" I'm sure people are just making conversation but those last few are a little cringe-worthy. So I guess the answer to both questions is YES. Alex and I have always wanted to have our kids be relatively close in age but we weren't sure if that was going to be a possibility given our fertility situation (aka any baby we have must be planned). We were able to conceive relatively quickly the first time with the assistance of fertility drugs, but my doctor was very candid that just because it worked the first time, it didn't mean it would the second time around. Of course my mind went into worse-case-scenario mode: what if it takes years to conceive? what if we can't conceive at all? But just like clockwork, the drugs worked after only two cycles. Coincidentally enough, that was the exact same process with Oscar, a detail my doctor described as "kinda scary;" he apparently rarely sees such consistency. We were sort of aiming to be due in May or June for the sake of my teaching job but I guess I'll just have to take an extended summer vay-cay! Ah, shucks! :-)

Finding out that we were pregnant was uplifting for soooo many reasons. We cannot wait to watch Oscar take on the big brother role; he has already been working on his sharing. We're so thankful for modern medicine and the knowledge that we can, in fact, get pregnant; Oscar was not a fluke but he is still my favorite miracle. There's also something about the idea of two children which makes a family seem more whole. For some reason, it's easier to envision taking family trips, or pulling two kids in the wagon, or going sledding, or simply sitting down for a family dinner. I daydream about all of those often.

So, Baby Carlson #2 (we need to come up with a better name for you), I love you already more than words can express. I know you will rock our world on so many levels but I can't wait. I guess I better get some actual work done but know that however busy I get, you and your sweet big bro are always in the forefront of my mind.

PS- Experienced mommas weren't joking about the second time around; I already feel huge! Many people said I "popped" a week or so ago and belly bands are in full-force now. Also, my palate has been mostly sweets-driven (with Oscar it was savory) so I wonder if that's just different because it's a different pregnancy or if the urban-legend of baby girls is true. I guess only time will tell ;-)

Oscar's First Birthday Party

My baby is one...I'm still in denial. But with this big milestone comes the big responsibility of a the first birthday party. Now say what you will about overdone children's parties and the Pinterest generation, but seeing as I only have a few birthday parties where I get to choose themes, etc, I wanted to have fun with it. Mind you, next year's birthday party will be taken down a notch or two.

We went for a classic Winnie the Pooh theme - a choice that ended up being hard to follow. Between party stores, Target, Walmart, and practically any store you could think of, no one carried any classic Pooh items; everything was Disney Pooh. Between Pinterest and my own imagination, we had to get a little craftsy and a little creative. Here are a few shots from Oscar's par-tay:

Box cupcakes/frosting, sugar bees from Etsy, hand-piped

Box cake mix, decal from Etsy, hand-piped

Tigger Tails - hand-dipped pretzel rods 

Acorns - Nutter Butter Bites, chocolate kisses, mini choc chip

Dessert table

Birthday board - idea from other moms/Pinterest, created on Photoshop

Birthday bunting - created on Photoshop

Roo Pouches - sandwich bar

Rabbit's Garden Grub - fruit and veggie tray

Piglets in a Blanket - croissant wrapped cocktail wieners

Food table spread

One-year photo shoot display alongside monthly growth photos

Cookie bouquet courtesy of Alex's aunt and uncle

Paper lanterns and handmade garland punched from Pooh books and sewn together

Obligatory cake smash montage

 Thank you to everyone who make this special day happen! I guess growing up can be a little fun :-)

Baptism by Fire

So this past week I spent six days and nights in Lincoln, Nebraska with a group of students for the International Thespian Festival. The shows, the workshops, the experiences shared with this great group of students were priceless. However, this trip marked my first time away from Oscar. Many moms I know so-called "practice" being away for a night or two before leaving for an extended period of time but I was so anxious about leaving him in the first place that I wanted to spend every waking moment with him. So instead, I went on my trip hoping and praying I wouldn't have a major meltdown. Baptism by fire, if you will.

Initially, I had planned on having Alex and Oscar drop me off but between the prop bins for the show and my luggage, there was no room in the car. In hindsight, I'm very thankful for this because saying goodbye at home allowed me to have time in the car to cry it out (and reapply makeup) without the watchful eyes of dozens of high school students.

The trip itself was pretty action-packed: show after show, workshop after workshop, meals, games, and various other activities that both excited and exhausted the students and me. As much as this busy schedule allowed little time for me to call home, I'm pretty sure that idle time would have made the separation worse. I wasn't laying in bed at night thinking of home because I was so wiped out from the day. The times that really tugged at my heartstrings were when our schedules coincided enough for a quick Face Time session. We tried to Face Time almost every day, but seeing as Oscar goes to bed at 7:00 and our schedule was packed solid until 10 or 11, finding time was very difficult. I worried that he wouldn't recognize me or have stranger-danger with me when I returned. I worried that he would be emotionally effected and, in turn, would have his daily schedule thrown off. I worried that he would learn to walk while I was away. And, even worse, I worried that he wouldn't even notice that I was gone; that was actually my biggest fear.

Much to my relief, Oscar seemed thrilled to see me when we Face Timed. He smiled immediately when he saw my face and even tried to touch my face on the screen when I talked to him. Those moments were the most difficult because all I wanted to do was reach through that screen and hold him - to snuggle him and to make him giggle. But, of course, I couldn't so I relied on those brief exchanges to get me through the week.

The bus ride home was pretty excruciating. Not only was I anxious to see my boys, but I was bored beyond belief (our school was split up on the bus). The already long bus ride (seven hours) dragged on for what seemed like weeks! Finally, we pulled into the school parking lot and I almost ripped the bus doors off their hinges. I don't remember saying goodbye to my students once we got of the bus (in hindsight, I feel sort of bad about that) and I left my luggage on the curb as I ran over to see my boys. When Alex got Oscar out of his car seat, it took me a second for it to feel real and for it to set in: I was home. Seeing and holding Oscar after that week-long trip felt like the first time I saw and held him. I noticed all that had changed about him while I was gone. His hair had gotten longer (and redder!), his teeth were more exposed, his demeanor seemed more mature and alert, and the weight of his body felt different in my arms. However illegal, I just wanted to hold him the entire ride home (of course I didn't!) but instead I sat in the backseat and played and talked with him. Between Alex being exhausted from single-parenthood all week and my intense desire to be with Oscar, I eagerly took the reigns and jumped right back into mommy-hood. I think I may have even ignored Alex and Beckett a little bit because I was all Oscar all the time. He hadn't forgotten me and I hadn't forgotten how to be a mom.

As much as this week was rough for me at times, I wouldn't take it back. Learning to trust God, my family, and my friends, truly appreciating the time I have with them, and letting go of some control has made me a stronger person. Now don't get me wrong, I don't intend on leaving him again anytime soon but none of us are worse off because of this trip.

Thank you to all who stepped up and helped Alex and I during this time and thank you God for giving me the strength to make it through! 

My Life Now

So my lack of blog entry since November is really indicative of my life now: I only have time for the essentials these days. As a matter of fact, very little of my life has stayed the same since Oscar was born. I've been rockin' the wet pony tail/braid on the daily, stepping on pointy wooden blocks almost hourly, multitasking like a fiend, running around like a maniac, and yet I wouldn't change a single thing. Every new discovery, every giggle, every loving glance, every adventure is worth it.

 Well, in reflecting on my life now, I also wanted to reflect on a question that has been asked of me a lot lately: "Do you even remember what it's like to not have a child?" I mention this qeustion not to scold those who've asked, but rather to give my candid thoughts which maybe aren't brief enough to share in passing. First off I think that's sort of a dumb question - of course I remember. Oscar has been around for about 2% of my lifespan - mind you, it's been the best 2% of my lifespan, but still... When it's asked of me, I feel obliged to say, "No, of course not!" because that's what good parents say, right? The truth is I don't forget how nice it is to run into Target for a few items without buckling and unbuckling, carrying a 25lb baby and having him grab at everything in sight, and then stopping in an oh-so-clean public restroom for a diaper change. I don't forget the luxury of using a hair dryer. I can't forget how nice it was when Alex and I could sit down and eat at the same time. I think what this question really aims to highlight is a change in perspective. It's not bad that I remember the luxuries of pre-baby life. As a matter of fact, I think having that perspective makes life much sweeter now. Running into the grocery store has now become an outing - an adventure. Who cares if it takes a little longer - it's free entertainment for Oscar (he loves people watching), and I'm accomplishing something while we're at it. Who cares if I go to work with my hair wet most days? I end up getting a little more sleep in exchange and on the rare occasion I do get to do my hair, it's a treat. Eating a meal doesn't need to be a big production every night - but when we do get a chance to have a meal together, the conversations are more meaningful and we're more appreciative of the time. So, all in all, I think that although being a mom is an incredibly humbling lifestyle, the reward is a shift of priorities and a heart that puts people first. I'm thankful everyday for my crazy life and for my wild and wonderful family.

Notice the side braid - my specialty these days :-)

So in the spirit of our growing boy (and the length of this blog entry), here are few snippets of how Oscar is changing and who he is becoming:

Hey, look! Another side braid!

• He has been cruising along the walls and furniture for well over a month. He'll crawl occasionally but is waaaayyy more interested in walking. I have no doubt that he'll be walking within the month - hopefully not while I'm in Nebraska for a week *fingers crossed*
• He has teeth - three of them (two bottom center) and one upper left. He didn't follow the so-called "normal" pattern as he got his lateral incisor before getting the central ones (the teeth next to the top middle). When he smiles really big he looks like a jack o' lantern. It's adorable. 
• He loves giving kisses. He thinks they're funny. It's adorable. 
• He thinks his dad is the funniest person alive. Sometimes he cracks up just looking at a picture of Alex. I tend to agree.
• He's super independent. He wants to feed himself, walk by himself, he even resists getting dressed because he wants to contribute. But the good news is that he still finds moments when he wants to snuggle with mama.
• He loves big kids. I think he has Beckett-syndrome where he actually thinks he is a big kid. 
•  He is very patient with my amateur photo sessions.
• He is more loved than he can ever imagine.

  

  Amateur photo sesh - work it!

  
  
  Who knows when my next blog entry will happen - I'll aim for a few more this summer while he's napping but no promises! :-)